I was at the end of my road with high school. I hated it. I was in a new school and didn’t know a single soul. I was failing almost every class miserably. Bullies were constantly looking for a fight. I spent recess and lunch hidden in a toilet cubicle, reading and listening to music to escape. I was suicidal and I don’t say that lightly. I was listening to Marilyn Manson, Placebo, NIN, Korn and as always Kurt Cobain. I wasn’t happy! In the end I dropped out. I even wrote a whole blog about my high school experience.
After dropping out I enrolled at the MSA (Melbourne School of Art) in a diploma in graphic design and visual communications — easily the best thing I ever did. Some of my happiest moments in life were shaped and nurtured at that school. It was in the city, so I had to make the morning commute on trains, buses and trams; the trip took about an hour and a half, but I actually enjoyed the travel. I would listen to my music, read the paper and the design magazines I bought, and made my way to a place I truly wanted to be. It didn’t take long to make friends — the class was only about eight people and they were all older than me, while most other students were fresh out of VCE. We were all like‑minded and shared a common enthusiasm, so we bonded quickly. Unfortunately those friendships dissipated not long after we completed the course, which remains a shame. I miss smoking pot with the students and teachers.
The course consisted of Photoshop, photography where we used a dark room to develop our shots (I’m showing my age), fine arts, life drawing, business classes which weren’t my favorite, art history and pottery. I loved it all, and each subject added something different to my creative toolbox. Photography was back in the day before phones. We used proper cameras which had 24-exposure film. Shots were too expensive to mess up and there was no delete button on the camera, so you learned to be deliberate. Business classes were taught by an old lady showing us how to find employment. All computer design was done on G3 Macs. When I started I was keen on the fine art side of things, but I quickly developed a lasting passion for computer design — Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, Fireworks and QuarkXPress.
Often there were part-time classes at night where I would drop in and work on whatever project I was involved with at the time. I even got to drink beer while I worked. I left home at seven in the morning and frequently didn’t get back until nine or ten o’clock at night. If only I’d done this kind of study in high school. I only really do well at the things I enjoy; when something captures me I throw myself into it a hundred percent and become nearly obsessed. That’s exactly what happened with my design classes.
I don’t use any of those skills anymore; I’ve become disconnected from the current industry-standard design programs. I’ve lost touch with the tools everyone else uses and I no longer feel any inclination to communicate with clients. Macromedia/Adobe Flash, which used to be my favorite program, is gone — I even learned ActionScript, the coding behind Flash, and it’s painful to think of so many people who devoted countless hours to mastering that software and its code only for it to disappear. I’m a different person now. I don’t make friends as easily as I once did; before I quit drinking I would often turn up hungover or call in sick. I have no real desire to look for work and I’ve lost the passion I used to have.