This has been troubling me for over two weeks now. My hands are shaking in a way that feels more like convulsions than the mild tremors I’ve experienced for most of my adult life. Until now, those tremors were slight and didn’t really interfere with my day-to-day activities, but these new episodes are far worse and have begun to affect everything. It’s horrible. Simple tasks—like pouring a coffee —have become a struggle, and I find I can no longer write reliably; I can’t even sign my own name. A few days ago at the supermarket I tried to pay with my card but couldn’t manage the eftpos machine to type in my PIN. For the first time I had to give my PIN to the Coles worker and have her enter it for me.

I used to think it was the DTs, but I’ve been sober for over five weeks now and, if anything, the tremors have become even worse. My mum had surgery a couple of years ago for her essential tremor and has since been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, so I fear that’s a genetic battle I may have to face. It’s all a bit scary and unsettling. I saw the doctor on Wednesday; she didn’t want to change my medication immediately and instead referred me to a psychiatrist for a medication review. It feels odd that this new burden appeared right after I was taken off my beta‑blocker, Atenolol, at the same time the shakes began. I was also started on an SSRI (Paroxetine), so that could be a contributing factor as well.

If things don’t improve, I’ll arrange a consultation with the neurologist. I’m praying it won’t come to brain surgery, but there are other treatments to consider before that becomes necessary. This is simply another health challenge I have to face. When it rains, it really does pour.