I’m not fooling myself, guys. My sobriety journey has only just begun. My sobriety date was May 15th, 2026. Without doing the math, that’s now over two months without a single drop of that poison. I’m not exaggerating when I say even the thought of it makes me feel ill. Alcohol holds no place within me whatsoever. I have developed a deep dislike — even a hatred — for the stuff. I’ve said this before, but there is absolutely no turning back now. I’m feeling strong and very grateful.
I keep this to myself and don’t talk to people about it. It’s my own little mission, quietly carried out day by day. It’s going to take some time but I need to prove to people that alcohol no longer takes over my life. I only ever drank beer, but I drank a shitload of it. It got to the point where I wasn’t even drinking it for the taste; I was forcing my body to drink it down, one after another, and I was hardly getting intoxicated. I was drinking to keep ‘normal’. I got sick of the routine of waking up hungover and, within minutes of waking, driving to the bottle shop and letting the cycle continue: drink, pass out, wake, bottle shop, drive home, drink, sleep…. and this is how it went. As God as my witness, I haven’t had one single craving. The idea of finding myself in the bottle shop is an absolute impossibility. I don’t miss it at all. There hasn’t been an occasion where I thought a beer would be nice in the moment. I’m no longer under their evil spell.
There was one catalyst which was the work of God. When I was in hospital for a week and almost died — I wrote an extensive blog about that experience a few entries ago which I recommend you read before continuing here — a doctor approached me with an extremely stern look and told me I was going through kidney shutdown and that if I ever drank again I would die. I was almost put on dialysis. If this isn’t reason enough to quit, I honestly don’t know what is. To most people this would have been terrifying news, but for me it was a Godsend. If I hadn’t gone to the ER for a completely different issue, nothing to do with my kidneys, I wouldn’t be here to write this blog. In all reality I might have left the hospital and purchased beer. I was hallucinating heavily for a couple of days, so I’m not entirely sure if that doctor existed or not, but I’m not taking any chances — I’ve told myself this was real. I’m not sure how it’s measured or how it works, but my initial kidney reading was a 9. Since my last blood test it has risen to a 51 — almost back to normal levels. All of this was due to a calcium overdose from eating Quick‑Eze lozenges for my heartburn and acid reflux, but I’m now on a couple of medications to prevent that. I suffered under this burden for so long and can happily say I haven’t had a flare‑up for almost three weeks. I’m mostly reiterating what I’ve already written below.
Since I quit drinking, my art has improved; my small circle of friends and family have noticed I’m doing much better in so many ways; my finances have improved massively; I can drive whenever I need to; my overall health has improved; and mentally I feel fantastic. I think the higher dose of SSRIs has finally kicked in too and I’m living in a good environment. All of this stems from having severed the connection between me and the drink.
Before my last relapse I went seven months without a drink, so I know from experience that I can do it again. This time I just have to stay vigilant and maintain my progress, and I genuinely believe I will. Still early days, but I’m determined to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it. That’s it for this update!